Saturday, February 21, 2009

My day and Waldoday. Not a good combo

. Thought you'd want to know about my wonderful day yesterday. Should bring you a good laugh.

I had to work in the morning and after work, I went to get my nails done and decided to go to that new massage chain: Massage Envy and get a $39 massage. We had homeschool kids yesterday which are the worst. Hate dealing with them, their mothers and all 52 of their other offspring that they bring along and who cry, wander off, touch thingss and just generally make my job impossible. I spend so much time trying to make everyone behave, I can't do anything else. And the mom's are RIGHT THERE and never say a word to the little darlings that are tearing the place up. SoI've had a knot on my shoulder that's been there so long, I was getting ready to name it. So I had a GREAT massage. So relaxing. I became one with the table and the place is so great. They have memberships!

Anyway, I'm sitting in the parking lot feeling guilty about spending money and needing to go to the grocery store when Irvin calls and says: Jake's (my daughter's boyfriend) car (our old one) is acting up, can you pick Lucy up from school? I'm thinking SHIT, I'm all the way on the other side of town but I"m not owning up to that as I don't want to tell him I got a massage. Well I pull out and head over to Lucy's school. I need gas (Irvin used the car last, but does he put gas in it? NO) But the needle is just above the E so I know there is a station next to Lucy's school and if I"m not there on the dot when she gets out, I'll have to listen to her all the way home which I am NOT in the mood to do having just gotten one of the best massages of my life.

Well in the old car (big behemoth, Grand Marquis), when the gas needle is in that position you could drive a whole nother day. Well NOT in the new car apparantly. I ran out of gas within sight of the gas station but still about a quarter mile away, on a busy road at rush hour. I call Irvin and he cusses and says he's on his way. I had coasted enough to turn off onto a side road and the car dies on a hill on a curve and there is a ditch, so can't really pull off much. I put on the hazard lights and sit there 20 min. as people go by honking, shooting birds and glaring. "Hello, hazard lights mean, car doesn't go!"

.Irvin gets there, puts in gas, car won't start. We try and try. Meanwhile Lucy is waiting and waiting. So I take the piece of shit, garbage mobile that is Irvin's truck to go get her while he stays with the car trying to figure out why it won't start. I can't get it turned around, it keeps stalling (it's a stick shift, which I normally have no problem driving, but I'm on a hill so keep stalling it trying to get going). AND he's told me that his gas gauge doesn't work, so don't go more than X miles in it. GREAT, I could run out of gas twice in ONE day. All benefits of the massage are rapidly fading.


I get out on the main and very busy road, get in the turn lane which proceeds to not turn through several light changes when I figure out that the car 7 cars in front of me is broken down in the turn lane. Now I'm trying to get turned around in the truck and go through McDonald's to try to cross the street to the shopping center where Lucy's school is and people keep getting right on my bumper. Well, there are still hills and I"m still rolling backwards a bit when I try to go in first gear, with people right on my ass, dumbasses, I'd never pull up on the bumper of such a piece of shit looking truck. I cannot get across traffic and end up having to turn, go a 1/4 mile in the wrong direction before I can turn around. By now, she's been at the school 45 minutes waiting and is not happy. But I remember I had a Reece's chocolate Easter egg in my purse (for later LOL) and I give it to her and say "look what I brought you!" LOL Whining crisis averted for now.

So in she gets, but then Jake shows up and she'd rather get in his car than balance her feet on 300 candy bar wrappers, assorted tools, screws and some chain that's in the floorboard. I get back to my car and Irvin says: I think there's a shut off sensor to keep it from pumping air and I can't find it, so we have to go home where I can look it up and get jumper cables as I ran the battery down trying to start it. Thankfully he drives the hated truck, while I now have to put my feet on the 300 candy bar wrappers.

WE get home and he gets on the computer, finds out where the shut off switch is, gets Jake to go back with him (THANK GOD) and they get the car, get the switch turned on, it starts and he goes to the gas station in it.

LUcy comes in and starts telling me that this teacher at school has 2 peekapoos and she's crying (teacher) because her husband has a neurological problem and the allergies to the dogs are making it worse and they have to get rid of them and she can't find anyone. So Lucy wants to "foster" them until we can find them a home. Well the female is PREGNANT. With PUPPIES!!!!OH god, I dno't know what we are going to do, but I figure by the end of the weekend, we're going to have 2 more dogs and 6 more on the way.

Anyway, Irvin gets home, Lucy goes out and we don't have any food because I was headed to the grovery store after the massage and never got there and no cupcakes for Waldo (yesterday was WAldoday, we've had him 2 years now, can't believe it). A friend calls and asks us to meet her and her daughter for dinner at this new place which is good and not expensive, I proceed to have 4 screwdrivers (which are so weak, I barely get a buzz and then they forgot to charge us for them anyway, which they should as it was just watered down OJ). But the food was good. But my friend gets drunk and has an argument with Irvin and then does the whole drunk, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry crap and I can tell he's getting ready to lose it with her. I'm over her, her daughter is embarrassed, I'm tired, I want to leave. We can't find the waitress, it's now almost 10 on Fri. and the bar is full of guys trying to pick up women (if I was single, I'd totally go there as there were about 5 guys to every woman) so we get the check and they put it together, which we had told them not too in the beginning so they have to go back and separate it., Well it's only $44 and we had at least $30 worth of food. Irvin had about 7 beers and he was drinking Guiness which is more than say, PBR, LOL and my screwdrivers are not on there. Well we are so desperate at this point and the service has sucked so bad, we pay it and don't say they missed all my drinks and about 3 of Irvin's beers. Because we now have to go get DAVE and drive him to the bus station as he's won a freaking 10 day cruise to Mexico and needs to be in Florida to get on the ship. Dave is the bain of my existance. He and Irvin are good friends, but Dave is such a whiner, I don't know how Irvin puts up with it. And he's always getting into these situations where everyone but Dave can see the outcome is NOT going to be good. Besides on Fri. Dave called at 6:30 and woke us up to tell us he was just going to bed (acutally he's doing some painting on one of Irvin's jobs, so we did need to know this, but not at 6:30).Well, he piddles around and we barely get to the bus station in time for his bus (which you could not PAY me to take to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida from here-18 hours). We get home about midnight and fall into bed, so poor WAldo did NOT get to celebrate, but we will today. Just think, Waldo's probably going to get 2 more dogs and a puppy litter for his day. LOL.

ANd how was YOUR day??? LOL

Thursday, February 12, 2009

History of Chocolate and Romance

Valentine’s Day Lecture
February 2009

Ah, Love. The very essence of life. The thing that makes the world go around. It can bring a strong man to his knees and make the fighting spirit come alive in a demure woman.
Love has been celebrated for thousands of years in poems, books, plays, movies and song.
From the Beatles “all you need is love” to Browning’s “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways”, Love has brought immense joy and immeasurable heartache to everyone that has experienced it. Wars have been fought over love, kingdoms and empires destroyed because of it.

And why?

For it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. We even elevate the emotion and romance of love in a special day solely dedicated to the celebration of the greatest of emotions. Hallmark, florists and candy companies have made a billion dollar industry out of love. But how did this celebration of love on February 14th get started? Who was St. Valentine?
The Roman Catholic calendar of saints lists 3 saints with the name of St. Valentine and it isn’t clear even to the Catholic Church, which of them is celebrated on the feast day of February 14. All three died horrible, terrible martyr’s deaths, or they wouldn’t be considered martyrs as dying by some horrible means seems to be the criteria for martyrdom. Something we’ve tried to tell a cousin that the family lovingly refers to as “The modern day martyr” and her reply is “just you wait, because I haven’t died yet, but it will probably be horrible.”


The name Valentine derives from the Latin, Valens which means worthy. So how did an obscure and little known saint or saints come to be associated with a day representing love? There are several legends. Probably the most romantic concerns a 3rd century Roman priest coincidentally named Valentine, who agreed to marry young couples in secret when the emperor Claudius II decreed that his army was to remain unencumbered by the complications of marriage and family. Valentine was thrown in jail and sentenced to death for defying the emperor. While in jail, he falls in love with the jailors daughter who visits him. Upon the eve of his death, he sends her a missive signed “from your Valentine.” Again, legend has it that the date of February 14 was chosen either because Valentine was buried on this date or that it coincides with an ancient pagan festival that celebrates fertility. This rumor has a little more credence as Geoffrey Chaucer of Canterbury Tales fame writes in Parliament of Foules :

For this was sent
on Seynt Valentyne's day
Whan every foul cometh ther to
choose his mate.

In England and France of the middle ages, the middle of February was when birds began to search for a mate and to pair up. Almost immediately after Chaucer’s writing, the day of February 14, began to be looked upon as a day consecrated to lovers and an occasion for writing love letters and sending tokens of love. French and English literature of the 14th and 15th centuries contain many illustrations this practice.
In France on February 14, 1400, a “High Court of Love” was established dealing with love contracts, betrayal and violence against women. This was a time period when Courtly Love flourished. Courtly love was a medieval European conception of nobly and chivalrously expressing love and admiration. Generally, courtly love was secret and between members of the nobility. It was also generally not practiced between husband and wife.

However, it wasn’t until the 19th century that handwritten declarations of love gave way to mass produced commercial “Valentines”. And the somewhat prudish and repressed Victorians popularized the sending of these Valentine cards in the mid 19th century. It wasn’t long before the practice crossed the Atlantic and in America the greeting card industry recognizes one Esther Howland of Worchester, Mass for popularizing the practice in America. We should note that Esther’s father owned and operated a rather large stationary store, so those of you that have said that Valentine’s day is a holiday created by the Greeting Card industry are not far off the mark.

The practice of including gifts like flowers or chocolates didn’t get a major foothold until after World War II. The jewelry industry jumped on the bandwagon in the mid 1980’s and today Valentine’s Day is a multi-billion dollar industry.

So how did chocolate come to be so closely associated with love and Valentine’s Day? Just as courtly love was restricted to the nobility, so was chocolate for a time. However when it was first introduced to Europe by Spanish explorers it was considered so vile and bitter that Pope Pius V declared that drinking it would not break communion fast.

The Spanish who were on a quest to rid the new world of as much gold as they possibly could, discovered the Mayas and Aztecs drinking a “bitter, frothy brew” made from the Cacao bean which they also used as currency. Fascinated by this culture’s reverence for the Cacao bean, Hernando Cortez established a plantation to grow “money” and eventually brought back the bean to Spain where mixed with cane syrup and other spices became the drink of the nobility and a closely held Spanish secret for almost 100 years. And because it was considered a fairly pricey and luxurious item, men began to give it to the object of their affections in order to win favor, thus establishing the first gifts of chocolate between the sexes. Meanwhile the rest of Europe was also introduced to the chocolate drink but without the addition of cane syrup. The vile tasting brew was first used as a medicine (if it tastes bad, it has to be good for you being the pharmaceutical motto for hundreds of years). Chocolate didn't suit the foreigners' taste buds at first –one described it in his writings as "a bitter drink for pigs. You can be sure that there was some resentment when the rest of Europe discovered the Spanish were holding out on the sweetened version of this delicacy.

The origin of chocolate or Chocolatl originated in the Amazon region about 4000 years ago. The Aztecs attributed its creation to their god Quetzalcoatl who, as the legend goes descended from heaven on a beam of a morning star carrying a cacao tree stolen from paradise. This only goes to prove my theory that something as delicious as chocolate could only come from paradise. If only Adam and Eve had partaken of the Cacoa bean instead of the apple, we might all still be residents of the Garden of Eden enjoying our daily chocolate in naked splendor!

The Aztecs used the cacao beans to prepare a thick, cold, unsweetened drink called chocolatl - a liquid so prestigious that it was served in golden goblets that were thrown away after one use. Christopher Columbus, in 1502, was the first European to run across the beans on his fourth voyage to the New World. This chocolatl was used in Aztec ceremonies. The priests were particularly keen on the caffeine content and the subsequent “buzz” it gave them. It’s not known if this particular effect was enjoyed by the sacrificial victims it was given too prior to their sacrifices to the Aztec gods. The Aztec’s also had special rituals that went with the cultivation and growing of the cacao beans. And considering the process chocolate goes through to become the treat we all know and love, it’s amazing that a process was found to enjoy this bean.

CACAO CULTIVATION


All chocolate products start with the cacao tree. Its scientific name is Theobroma cacao L. from the Greek Theobroma, meaning food of the Gods, and cacao from the Aztec, cacahuatl. There are three varieties - each grown in different parts of the world: Central America, Venezuela, Colombia, and parts of Asia.

The cacao tree, which grows as high as 25 feet, is planted in sheltered, areas in moist, tropical climates as it needs plenty of rainfall to mature. When the trees begin to bear fruit the ripened pods are shaped like small footballs - in red, orange, or gold. Ripe pods are collected and broken open. The wet sticky seeds, called beans are scooped out and the white, shiny "flesh" starts to change color. The beans turn to a deep lavender or purple. They are allowed to ferment in their own natural heat which helps develop their flavor characteristics.

The fermented beans turn to a rich brown color - a sign that they are ready for drying. In many cases, this is accomplished simply by spreading the beans on trays or bamboo matting and leaving them in the sun. If the climate conditions interfere with this drying process, the beans may be dried over hot air pipes. After drying, they are put into bags for shipping to chocolate factories all over the world. In the 16th century, as other countries challenged Spain's monopoly on cacao, chocolate became more widely available. Soon the French, English, and Dutch were cultivating cacao in their colonies in the Caribbean. With more production came lower prices, and soon the masses in Europe and the Americas were enjoying chocolate. Presumably the sweetened version. For many people, however, the expanded production of cacao in the New World meant slavery and privation. Cacao production relied heavily on the forced labor of Native Americans and imported African slaves.



FROM CACAO BEAN to CHOCOLATE


After harvesting, the beans are shipped to factories and stored either in silos or in their original sacks in warehouses. These rooms are well aired, kept at cool temperature and the humidity regularly checked. Before the production stage, the beans are sorted and cleaned.
Once in the factories, the beans are kept cool and dry. Like coffee, cocoa does not acquire the richness of its color and the fullness of its flavor until it is roasted. The degree of care given to this operation has considerable influence on the ultimate quality of the end product - either cocoa powder or chocolate. When roasting is complete, the beans are cooled and their thin shells removed. Here's where the first secrets of the chocolate manufacturer come in. The nibs, or husked beans are blended, combining as many as 8-10 varieties. It is control of these subtle mixtures that maintains a constant quality and brings out the flavor of each particular variety of chocolate.

The nibs then pass through refining mills and are ground. The heat generated by grinding causes the cocoa butter or fat to melt and form a fine paste or liquid known as chocolate "liquor." This goes to large hydraulic presses which remove most of the cocoa butter. The "cake" which is left may eventually be made into cocoa powder. The cake goes through several processes in which it is crushed, milled and finely sifted. But until the dawn of the Industrial Revolution, chocolate was largely a handmade product. It was a time consuming product and expensive to produce.But new machinery of the industrial age made it possible to create solid chocolate and mass-produce this candy in enormous quantities at a fraction of the original cost. For the first time, most of the general public could afford this tasty treat.

But in the 17th century, chocolate was a fashionable drink throughout Europe, believed to have nutritious, medicinal and even aphrodisiac properties (it's rumored that Casanova was especially fond of the stuff-could be another reason chocolate has become so closely associated with Valentine’s Day). But it remained largely a privilege of the rich until the invention of the steam engine made mass production possible in the late 1700s.

In 1828, a Dutch chemist found a way to make powdered chocolate by removing about half the natural fat (cacao butter) from chocolate liquor, pulverizing what remained and treating the mixture with alkaline salts to cut the bitter taste. His product became known as "Dutch cocoa," and it soon led to the creation of solid chocolate.
The creation of the first modern chocolate bar is credited to Joseph Fry, who in 1847 discovered that he could make a moldable chocolate paste by adding melted cacao butter back into Dutch cocoa.

By 1868, a little company called Cadbury was marketing boxes of chocolate candies in England. A few years later, they started selling chocolates in heart shaped boxes. Today 36 million heart shaped boxes of chocolate are sold each Valentine’s Day in the United States.


Milk chocolate hit the market a few years later, pioneered by another name that may ring a bell – Nestle. Daniel Peter, who worked in the Nestle factory in Vevey, Switzerland changed the flavor of chocolate around the world and almost single handedly pioneered an industry. In 1887, Peter adopted the original formula for adding milk to chocolate thus making it creamier, smoother and more palatable. Peter called his product, "Gala" from the Greek, which means, "from the milk”. Interestingly enough, the idea came to him from the Nestle Company’s innovation in making one of the first baby formula’s called “milky flour”. The company marketed this product in copper-trimmed wrapped printed with: "the healthiest of all chocolates, very nourishing, very digestible, a little sugar not causing thirst."



American Chocolate


In this country chocolate was so valued during the Revolutionary War that it was included in soldiers' rations and used in lieu of wages. While most of us probably wouldn't settle for a chocolate paycheck these days, statistics show that the humble cacao bean is still a powerful economic force. Chocolate manufacturing is a more than 4-billion-dollar industry in the United States, and the average American eats at least half a pound of the stuff per month. But the relationship between chocolate and war was established during the American Revolution and continues today with Hershey still supplying various forms of their candies to the purveyors that supply our Armed Forces both at home and overseas.

Ghirardelli Chocolate has a history that dates back to the California gold rush. Domingo Ghirardelli a native of Italy who owned a successful confectionary business in Lima, Peru, heard about the discovery of gold in California in 1849 and like thousands of other “forty-niners” set out to make his riches. He soon discovered he could make more money supplying the miners and soon set up a series of stores. He lost everything in a fire in Stockton, CA in 1851 and was forced to start over again, this time in San Francisco where he reverted back to what he knew best: candy. He opened his factory in what would become the famed Ghirardelli Square in San Francisco.

In the 20th century, the word "chocolate" expanded to include a range of affordable treats with more sugar and additives than actual cacao in them, often made from the hardiest but least flavorful of the bean varieties.




Hershey’s, A Sweet Success


Having failed twice at his own Candy Company, Milton Hershey, finally made the third time a charm making caramels in his third and final Lancaster, Pennsylvania candy company. In 1893 after a visit to the World’s Colombian Exposition in Chicago, he returned home with German chocolate making equipment and began producing chocolate covered caramels. Soon the demand for chocolate forced him to focus on a way to make a viable milk chocolate bar. A process that was still closely guarded by the Swiss. After much trial and error, he hit upon a process and the Hershey bar was born. Soon after a company and a town was born. . Having learned from his past failures, he had become a shrewd and astute businessman. He believed, along with the more forward-thinking industrialists of the age, that workers who were treated fairly and who lived in a comfortable, pleasant environment would be better workers. Accordingly, he set upon building an infrastructure to take care of the people who were employed by his company. He had plans drawn up for a model community that included housing for executives and ordinary workers alike, schools, churches, parks, recreational facilities and a trolley system. Unlike other “company towns,” Hershey’s was not intended to exploit its resident workers, but rather to provide for their welfare. As time went on, Hershey saw to it that the town (named Hershey, naturally) added a community building, a department store, a convention hall, an amusement park, a swimming pool, and schools.

We could say the rest was history, but the Hershey company has been an innovator and pioneer in the candy world and a chocolate that soon became closely associated with America and in particularly the American Armed Forces.

After successfully introducing products such as powdered cocoa in 1894, chocolate syrup in 1926 and chocolate chips in 1928, no other product before or since has become such an iconic symbol las the Hershey Kiss. Introduced in 1907, each candy was individually wrapped until the mid 20’s when machinary was invented to take over the process. Hershey Kisses have been continually produced since 1907 with the exceptionm of the war years when foil was needed for the war effort. Hershey put the kiss on hiatus from 1942 until 1949. Today the company produces 24 million kisses per day in 10 Varities.



Hershey goes to war.



Chocolate rations had been a part of America’s soldiers meals from the American Revolution. However, they were not a regular part of the ration until World War One and then in limited supply.


After World War One, the American Quartermaster’s Corp, set about devising rations that were more portable, lighter in weight, higher in nutrition than previous rations. Chocolate bars were included in most of the war rations. However, the Armed Forces was still looking for a highly portable, light weight emergency ration for combat troops that were actively engaged in combat. The Hershey company was tasked with coming up with such a food.

The U.S. Army’s requirements were quite specific. They needed a ration bar that weighed about four ounces, would not melt at high temperatures, was high in food energy value, and did not taste so good that soldiers would be tempted to eat it except in an emergency. In fact they were told it should taste no better than a boiled potato. And so the Emergency “D” ration bar was born. Prior to this bar, melted chocolate was poured into molds in a highly automated system. The D bar was of such a consistancy, that it would not pour and the clay like material had to be packed by hand into the molds. As an added precaution, each bar was coated in a substance to make it impervious to gas. The result was a bar that did provide high calorie content and nutrition for soldiers and was designed to only be used sparingly for as long as 24 hours. Reports from combat troops were mixed. The bar gave them the energy to fight, but it was also hard to chew and could cause quite a bit of gastric upset. Following World War II, the bars were changed quite a bit and finally discontinued. However, Hershey continued to supply the US Armed Forces with chocolate bars and eventually all manner of Hershey candies to be included in troop rations and are still being included in the MRE’s that our soldiers in Iraq and Afganistan are eating today.

In addition to Hershey’s, which produces 100 types of chocolate, candy and baking products, American candy companies still produce the most chocolate available for sale today.
But if it’s gourmet chocolate you want, several confectioners have stepped up to fill the bill. Arguably the most famous one is Godiva. The chocolate of kings and queens has been made in Belgium since 1926. It was introduced into America in the 60’s and sales of the high quality brand have grown every year. If you really want to impress your Valentine, a nice size box of Godiva Chocolate is sure to bring a smile to the face of anyone that receives it as a gift. And if you’re lucky, they might even consent to share some with you.



Chocolate Trivia



American consumers average 10-12 pounds of chocolate a year, while in the Switzerland they eat almost twice that amount.

Chocolate manufacturers currently use 40% of the world's almonds and 20% of the world's peanuts.

The Cacao tree only thrives in latitudes no more than 20 degrees north and south of the equator.

Hawaii is the only state that grows cacao beans to produce chocolate.

U.S. chocolate manufacturers use about 3.5 million pounds of whole milk every day to make chocolate.

66% of chocolate is consumed between meals.

22% of all chocolate consumption takes place between 8pm and midnight.

More chocolate is consumed in winter than any other season.

Chocolate supposedly made its film debut when Jean Harlow ate candy in the 1933 comedy 'Dinner at Eight'.

Chocolate syrup was used for the blood in the famous shower scene in the Alfred Hitchcock movie 'Psycho'. The scene lasts for about 45 seconds in the movie, but took 7 days to film.

In the U.S. chocolate candy outsells all other types of candy combined, by 2 to 1.

Seven billion pounds of chocolate and candy are manufactured each year in the United States.

M&M’s were first created after the Mars Candy Company founder saw a similar candy being used during the Spanish Civil War in the 1930’s. The candy coating helped keep the chocolate from melting. Mars first produced M&M’s in 1941 and they were sold exclusively to the US military until after the war. Today 400 million M&M’s are made each day. M&M stands for Mars and Murrie the founders of the company

Halloween is the top candy holiday with the most sales. Followed by Christmas, Easter and Valentine’s Day.

36 million heart shaped boxes of chocolate are sold for Valentine’s Day each year.

90 million chocolate bunnies are produced each year for the Easter holiday.

The first known published recipe for chocolate brownies appeared in the Sears & Roebuck

Catalogue in 1897.Thomas Jefferson wrote a letter to John Adams in 1775 declaring chocolate to be superior to coffee and tea.

The Baby Ruth bar is named after President Grover Clevelands daughter and not the famous baseball player.




Now that we know how we came to enjoy chocolate and how it has been changed over the ages, let’s talk about the reasons why we eat chocolate. Because it tastes good! Chocolate also just makes us feel good. Chocolate contains more than 300 known chemicals of which caffeine is just one. These chemicals work on our brains very similarly to drugs such as Marijuana and amphetamines. The chemicals in chocolate are assuredly safe; they just cause the brain to transmit messages that cause us to feel euphoric. Scientists are researching these chemicals and affects and have gone too far as to say that there may be credence to a chocolate addiction after all. Hey, if it feels good, eat it!!!

Chocolate has been said to cause acne and tooth decay, and has a reputation for being a fattening, nutrition less food. On the other hand, chocolate is also known for being everything from an anti-depressant to an aphrodisiac. While there's still much we don't know about chocolate, recent research is helping us better understand how chocolate consumption affects our health. New medical studies have been conducted that have found that chocolate, especially dark chocolate has antioxidant qualities that prevent heart disease.

Since chocolate has become synonymous with Valentine’s it’s obvious that this delicious treat is good for our hearts in more ways than one.